This blog began in 2010 as part of the publisher’s promotional materials for my travel book, The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men. The book rose to #1 on Amazon’s Best-Sellers List within two weeks of publication, and is still selling. The blog has been expanded to cover my other pursuits.

Say No to Being Sidelined

September, 15, 2014

Recently, I went salsa dancing for the third time and it was mega fun. For those of you who’ve never been to a salsa club, it’s much different than a regular club. Everything is partner-based, and people constantly switch partners as guys ask girls to dance. Bold women do blaze the trail and ask men, but it’s more common the other way around. Even though I’m still learning the salsa steps, I have learned how to stay off the sidelines and on the dance floor thanks to my friend’s tips!

One of my guy friends – who’s a salsa whiz – invited me to come dancing. On the drive to the club, he explained that the last time he went, his sister joined him. She was high on the attractive meter, but low on dance partners. Not a single guy asked her and since she was still learning the steps, she was a little hesitant about being the aggressor. My friend’s idea of a landmark evening wasn’t doing “hot” dances with his sister in order to rescue her from being left behind. So he taught her the requisite Do’s so you Don’t sit on the side. After following her brother’s advice, this girl was never a wallflower again. Here are his tips…

Say No to Being Sidelined

Do Have an Open Stance. It’s okay to chat with a girlfriend on the sidelines, but if you want to get asked to dance, face your body toward the floor. This shows that you’re open to an invite.

Do Have Your Arms By Your Side. Folding your arms is an automatic sign that your shop is closed. It’s like advertising, “Don’t ask me.”

Don’t Sit Down at a Table. I’ve actually heard girls who were sitting around a secluded corner table complain that no men had asked them to dance. Lovely ladies, get off your butts and take a daring step near the dance floor. Guys tend to pick girls who are closer. No one wants to go on a trek to ask someone to dance.


Stay updated with posts straight to your inbox!