This morning while cleaning out my files, I ran across my itinerary from a business trip to NYC a while back. It was one of my favorites. I made friends with people from America to South Africa, and my book sold out in every store! One of the most interesting men I met was an attractive professional squash player with an Ivy League education, a sharp sense of humor, and a unique theory on true love…which he happily divulged after a few drinks.
He had this down to a science, explaining that only three criteria matter, each of which can be ranked from one to ten. If the cumulative total for your amour du jour is 25 or higher, you have a good match. If not, move on. Here are the elements: COMPATIBILITY. You can’t add points for enjoying going out to – say restaurants – with this guy. You’re not dating restaurants…you’re dating him! So before assigning this one a number, decide whether you would enjoy spending time with him if you stripped away the outings. SHARED VALUES. Do the two of you agree on core beliefs? ANIMAL MAGNITISM. Do you have raw passion?
When I met Mr. Squash Player, I was in a serious relationship. SP helped me calculate our “Love Score” and it totaled 24…just a point shy of the magic number. In all seriousness, he advised, “You have two choices. Quit wasting your time and end this thing now, or let it fizzle out later when you learn that I was right.”
I protested, saying that no relationship was perfect and I enjoyed this romance. “Really,” I asked, “what is one point?” SP just shrugged with a look that said, You’ll see.
Well, he was right. Although I adored my boyfriend, eventually I realized that we weren’t ideal together. But I’m glad I didn’t call it quits when I got the “ominous” 24. That was one of my best, most adventure-filled diversions. We came from very different backgrounds. In the end they were too different, but that caused both of us to view the world in another way. I would never have wanted to cut our time together short. Who knows, maybe SP is onto something with his Love Test. But sometimes, I think it’s good to throw all tests out the window and see where life takes you.