This blog began in 2010 as part of the publisher’s promotional materials for my travel book, The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men. The book rose to #1 on Amazon’s Best-Sellers List within two weeks of publication, and is still selling. The blog has been expanded to cover my other pursuits.

Fifth Harmony Makeup Tutorial and a Dating Dilemma

October, 14, 2015

Makeup mavens, here’s a tutorial for Lauren Jauregui’s smudged cat-eye look in the Fifth Harmony music video, I’m In Love With a Monster.

After posting my dance tutorial to this song  https://youtu.be/ZML3Fkhd9nQ, I received the following request:

“Guys can be such monsters sometimes!! It’s like they drive us crazy, but we still gotta have em!! I think KCC should do a blog post about this. It’s the ultimate girls’ dilemma!”

I had a heart-to-heart with some girls who have a tendency to get taken in by monsters. Here’s what they said,

“Bad boys are exciting at first and then all I do is fight with them.”

“I always end up dating jerks. Yes, they’re total assholes, but I don’t realize that at first. Their self-confidence pulls me in. By the time I get that they’re also self-centered, they’ve broken my heart.”

“I keep asking myself why I fall for monsters. That’s every time I realize that I’ve got one on my hands again. You’d think I’d learn, but for some reason I don’t.”

These responses made me sad. I think the ultimate turn-on is a genuinely kind man who has the other elements I want—great chemistry, so much fun that I forget what time it is when we’re together, a sense of humor, and someone I can count on. So niceness helps to draw me in, and mean behavior repels me.

The answer to the question about the telltale sign that underneath a suave exterior lies the soul of a jerk was revealed in the comment from the second girl. She described the common denominator in stealth jerks as self-confidence. When I pressed her for particulars, what she told me sounded more like cockiness. But it always came off as confidence and that is an appealing trait.

Say you meet a guy who invites you to a party. Would you be swept away if he said, “Uh, so there’s this party that might be kind of fun. You might want to come…if you don’t have anything else to do”? Or, would you rather hear, “There’s this amazing party and I’d love to take you”?

The second approach will make you want to throw on that party dress. The guy is confident that the event is going to be memorable.

So girls, the secret is to find men who are both confident and kind. And guys, if you believe you have something wonderful to offer girls, they’ll believe it too…but you’d better follow through.

There are nice guys out there who are incredible. To back me up on this, I asked three women to describe their husbands. Here’s what they said:

“I’ve never felt before the way I did with him. Even though we’ve been married for twenty-something years, I still get butterflies.”

“Before my current husband, I was in an abusive marriage. I was miserable when he came home every night. With the man I have now, I smile every time he walks in the door.”

“If you want to be happy, date a man who is nice. It’s a four letter word, but in the best way possible.”

I also talked to a woman with a husband whose monster qualities had emerged and were taking him over. He was sure she knew that he loved her because he had told her so the night he proposed…two children ago. She turned that man and her marriage around by finding a good counselor who helped him see how he sounded in Halloween mode. How did she get him there? He really did love her and didn’t want to lose her. The experience was an awakening that put him in touch with his sensitive self. Now their relationship is better than when he proposed.

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