How to Reignite a Romance
August 25, 2014
A question that I’ve heard a lot is how to rekindle love when life’s challenges have dampened passion. One girl wrote me saying, “I just want my boyfriend to look at me the way he did when we started dating.” Another admitted, “My husband has ceased to be impressed by me.” And a man revealed, “Why couldn’t the honeymoon phase have lasted longer?”
Dr. Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University research scientist in anthropology explained, “After romantic love comes the long-term love of attachment, which is both a deeper bond and less all-consuming. But if you have picked the right mate, romantic love never totally subsides. And it can be reactivated.”
But how? I have a friend who just went through a divorce. He said that I could share with you an insight he wished someone had told him the day he got married. “Don’t assume you can read your partner’s mind. Have conversations about what excites and turns each other on. If you don’t, one or both of you can become bored with the relationship.”
To add to that, I think that couples should always maintain an attitude of love for each other. The word foreplay is really missing the letters v, e and r right in the middle. Metaphorically speaking, for a committed relationship, foreplay should be FOREVERplay instead of only a prelude to sex. If couples make their romance a constant state of mind, as responsibilities mount they’re more likely to continue treating each other with affection.
Also, research shows that trying new adventures as a couple ups the dopamine levels in their brains. That is what happens when you fall in love. A little extra dopamine can never hurt when it comes to steaming up a romance!
